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Post by Roxxie Roberts on May 5, 2014 14:21:48 GMT -5
May 2nd, 2014.
The leather belt, slightly poked through the bed skirt, out in the open. A small glimmer of gold shimmered from the belt glittering against the sunset. Laying beneath the cream colored silk sheets, I drew over the crinkles with my index finger, my right arm tucked softly under my head atop the pillow. He laid next to me, on his back, arms bend behind his head, and I could sense his smile. Eyes closed, sheets drew up to his waist showing off his perfectly chiseled chest. From a far, I looked miniature to him in comparison… a porcelain doll to an army action figure.
The shimmer from the sun as it set across the horizon warmed my left cheek, lightly hovering on my shoulder as I laid there, quietly. The house was oddly quiet in comparison to my home, where one too many people came together under one roof. Being here felt serene, as if I was in a peaceful place in my dreams… however this moment had been tainted by guilt. The atrocity of my actions had been hard to forget… but he seemed to have been adjusting quite well, for something who just a few weeks ago was torn about who he was…. Who I was!
Feeling as if I am in an alternate reality at this point… used to being alone for so long… too long! I’ve missed the touch of his body, the warmth of his heart, his intoxicating sense of humor, his hypnotic eyes, and reassuringly powerful smile. At once, I believed I would never lay eyes on him again. That, I would never have the courage to unlock my heart once more and give it away. Many years, I was lead in the dark, to believe that my beloved had died shortly after our separation. The day striking the most powerful fear, despair, and grief in my heart I had felt in some time… unable to escape the bindings of a treacherous monster and my own attachment.
Even now, after it all, after all the deceit and methods used to bring him back to me I am plagued by this unrelenting feeling that it is not over… there is still something he needed to know. Something we both needed to figure out together. I had only just got him back, back to reality. Whether or not he could love me after this, as long as he is alive… and he is himself, not the man as they used to call Rhonin. However, was it really fair to him, to hear this at this point? It’s only been two weeks since “The Natural” Joey Harris came back to reality… broke through his Rhonin bindings and took in his surroundings.
Would it be fair to tell him now?
Fingers weaved through my hair slowly, and his muscular body turns to press up against my back, wrapping his left arm around me, cradling me perfectly. “Are you alright baby?” he whispers softly in to my ear, lips brushing it gently as it sends a tingle down my side.
“You knew I was awake?” I asked, a little surprised.
“I know my Roxxie, always thinking of something, and always too childishly stubborn to admit it and tell anybody about it. Even me!”
Snorting lightly, I roll my eyes with a small chuckle and nose wrinkling. It’s amazing how a week or two of memories can come crashing down to the point he remembers every detail.
“That sounds so wonderful to hear…” I mutter, hesitant in my choice of words. I still felt the need to tip-toe in conversation with him. He leans in, and kisses my neck softly.
“What does?”
A smile parts my lips once again, and I move my head a bit feeling a slight rush with his touch, his lips brushing on my neck. His warm breath caressing my skin. “To hear you say you know your Roxxie… that you remember who I am again…”
“Trust me, it’s a relief to say it. Rhonin was a weakling.” He mutters, a bit annoyed with saying the name.
I snort again in chuckle, this time slightly louder and he breaks out in to a soft laughter. “I love the way you snort when I make you laugh,” he notes, touching my check with the back of his fingers, “and how you wrinkle your nose when I point out one of your traits, or crack a smart-ass joke…”
My eyes widen, turning just enough in bed to make our eyes meet, and I slap him gingerly on the shoulder in offense. “HEY!!” I yelled out, clearly fake-offended. He laughs and pulls back slightly, preparing for a little bit of frisky four play.
“What,” he asks innocently, “I am just telling it how it is!” He added in with that beaming playful smile on his face… he reaches in and begins to tickle my sides. Pulling back against the bed, I bend my arms and reach for his hands trying to control the laughter.
“Oh you’re going to pay Joey Harris.”
“Ooooo we are getting formal now are we,” he winks at me, continuing to tickle, me unable to break free from his clutches… until we roll out of bed and he falls flat on his back with me on top. “Bonus!” He noted proudly, and cups my shoulders and pulls me down for a fierce passionate kiss, taking my whole entity in to his and causing my body to melt in his arms as they trail down my back.
Then, the phone rings.
Joey sighs reluctantly and nods letting go of me as I roll over taking one of the blankets with me as I walk over to my leather coat and grab my cell phone from the pocket. Looking at the Caller ID, I stumble backwards a bit, my heart jumping in to my throat. Joey looks up at me, an eyebrow raised with concern, before I shakily swipe the bottom of my phone and answer the call.
“Hello…”
“Hello and good day, am I speaking to Mrs. Harris…” he asks formally. My heart fluttered in my chest.
“Ummm….” I pause, nerves hitting my body like knives, “Well its Roberts… not Harris, but yes this is she.” I clarified to him, as Joey was getting off the floor he pauses with slight shock as he turns from position and stares at me wearily, unable to tare his eyes away from the back of my head.
“Oh, terribly sorry Mrs… or Ms. Roberts. This is the Adoption Connection Center in San Francisco, California and I am calling about the file you’re made in February of this year?”
I began to hyperventilate, stumbling a bit in place… Joey still frozen in what appeared to be fear and curiosity mixed in one. “Ms. Roberts and yes… Do you have anything for me?”
There was a pause on the phone, only about twenty seconds but it felt like a half an hour as my heart now raped against my ribs, unable to control my moments of complete nervousness.
“Yes we did Ms. Roberts… We looked in to the dates you gave us, the place of birth, and the name and surprisingly it was easy to find… Her last name had been change of course by her adoptive parents, and we would like to schedule an appointment with you to discuss your intentions of further actions you would like to take. But yes, to clarify, your daughter is very much alive…”
It had stopped, my heart that is, and my phone fell from my hand. I turned my head slowly and met the eyes of Joey, mine full of fear. He looks back thoroughly concerned, now having pants on. He begins to walk to me slowly but I begin to shake terribly, I stumbled backwards unable to keep my feet on the floor. My head rushed, heart fluttered with mixed feelings… joy, fear, relief, excitement, betrayal, and yes… even guilt.
“ROX…!” he shouts out to me as I fall backwards, catching me in his arms. He steps backwards, laying me on the bed, brushing the hair from my face. “Rox…. What happened, what’s going on?” he questions highly concerned.
“She’s alive… she’s… really alive…” I mumbled, unable to continue. Tears striked my cheeks fiercely raining down like a monsoon. Joey stares on at me, brushing my tears away with his fingers. Fear flashed across his face as he looked at me, cradling me in his arm.
“Whose alive Rox…?” his voice a bit shaky. “Who called…..” he managed to add, wanting to fit the puzzle together in his head.
Regaining some strength, I pull myself to a sitting position still slightly shaking from my rush of emotions. Looking down at my phone on the floor, I turned my face to meet Joey’s and plant my forehead against his.
“Our daughter is alive…”
Joey pulls back from me immediately, his eyes widening. He pulls to a stand and regards me cautiously frozen once again. It took me a moment to figure out his reaction, and soon clasp my hands around my mouth… realizing what I had done.
The way I had done it.
____________________________________________________
May 5th, 2014.
‘How can I compete with that?’ Thinking to myself as I walk aimlessly around the living room. As if insecurities haven’t taken their toll on me enough the last while in PWX, but now this? I went on to defeat Leo Banks; the one time joke, Brian Hollywood and Tiami Tyler in a Tag Team Match, then Tiami in a single match… went on to defeat Anton Chase a former Hybrid Champion, and even Joey Harris; slightly unfortunate. When all the hard work pays off, the sweat, tears, blood, and pain… the endless training. What do I have to show for it? A lost contender ship. Once again, the nightmare of the EWF World Heavyweight Championship match against Paul Blair and “The Natural” Joey Harris come crashing down on me again… Joey Harris pinning Paul Blair… and one again Joey Harris pinning Alexander Atwater. Both times I was the third wheel out, the odd man- or in this case woman. But there is one difference between then and now, even if it’s a small detail.
This one means nothing.
“On the road to success, it was my goal to bring back the re-claimed, not to put my foothold on the Next Generation Championship. The Establishment could keep their Jobber Title, for all I cared. None the less Alexander Atwater, despite his hyped up name, came in to the ring far surpassed in skill and it was easy for Joey Harris to take him for what he was no longer worth. What was my role in it all? It is simple really, the only way I could finish my job in bringing his memory back to him in a full circle was to be put in a situation that resembled the beginning of it all. So, although I may not have been awarded Next Generation Championship… I still won, I didn’t walk out a loser. I walked in with hopes high… I stood by near the end… of course in a bit of pain, and watched Joey Harris pin Atwater just like I had seen it before… I watched as my mission completed itself… history repeating itself once again. I won my championship, my prized possession. The most sadistic mother-fucker to ever walk the wrestling plain!”
Licking my lips, the corner of my mouth curves in to a smirk.
“The Establishment has thus, been knocked down a few more pegs as Joey and I rip through their stable claiming each other as a washed up voo-doo doll, we hexed with destruction. First the former World Heavy Weight Champion and PWX Owner himself Brian fucking Hollywood, and the play by play bitch who can’t seem to hold it together enough to get anywhere… Tiami Tyler… go ahead sweety, aim for the Hybrid Division although you can barely win a match… I have my eyes set on something bigger than you, and it always I’ll be. Then we have Anton Chase, a former Hybrid Champion himself that went nine months without being placed in a Main Event Match… who faced one opponent for almost half of his matches… and who can’t seem to climb up anywhere… much less defeat a “rookie” like myself… and we have “Rhonin,” well we don’t even have to go there… people have been watching for the last two months and I am sure you are all caught up on The Confused and the Wrestless!”
Shaking my head, I let out a small chuckle.
“Although, as you can see, I will do pretty much whatever I can to get where I need to be, to get what I set out to see, accomplish my goals… even if that means claiming to defeat Troy Stone.”
Those words hung on my tongue for a while, stinging a bit causing my heart to beat to a drum of horror and deception.
“I may not be John Pariah, John Ojeda, Schmeid… I may not seem like a worthy opponent. With only having eight matches… losing three of them, one of them being a Next Generation Champion… which is nothing in comparison to the PWX World Heavy Weight Championship, that you once held Troy. Don’t count me out just yet. I may not seem like the caliber wrestler that you are worthy of facing. I have never held a championship in my seven year career, I may have never accomplishment and real status in any federation I have been in, but that does not mean I never intend to.”
“I have always sat in the next seat, watching and waiting as the ones I have loved taken the road to success with such ease and technicality, approaching their goal at an immense amount of speed. However, it is time I took a stand. The stand that unveils me, Roxxie Roberts, to be all that I have the potential of being… and that stand begins now. Whether you are my ticket to freedom, or my next opponent, my stand will bring me to where I need to be.”
Clearing my throat, I turn to look out the window, sun beaming in brightly.
“I, too, have my doubts much like you. You have doubts from the executive staff in their decision to place me in the main event with you, against you rather. Doubts on whether or not I will meet the expectations of your challenge and give you a reason to put forth the effort to make it a night nobody will ever forget. I have every intention on winning at Adrenaline seventy-seven, The Awakening.”
“After watching you last week, and many weeks of your past career here, I can’t help but feel a pang of nerves. Nerves, I am more than sure, you do not share. To test my limits, and break through. Here I stand, and here I stay… letting the storm rage on, because your success doesn’t bother me. However, the past is in the past. May it be your reign as World Champion here, the longest one that Pro Wrestling X has ever seen or my past endeavors with the World Championship myself, in other federations. It, however, will not be my last endeavor.”
I paused briefly, shuffling some things around on a bookshelf.
“I respect your talent Troy, you certainly don’t lack-there-of… I will admit that. You know how to hold yourself in the ring. You can take down an opponent with ease, and make your mark known. But, so can I! You know how to make an impression in the ring, and to those around you in the PWX. You know how to take something away and keep it, not just show boat it for a few weeks like most. You know how to go in for the kill, and make sure your opponents don’t know which way to go from there… dazing them! I have no intention of being dazed, confused, or lost during our match. I will be on point, technical, graceful if you will, in the ring. I will make my mark just like you. I will make my stand, whether it is above you, or next to you with respect. I do not plan on destroying your career. I plan on taking this experience, and manifesting it to my next step. Growing my goal to be the first woman to ever hold the PWX World Heavy Weight Championship. I will make history here, and I will do it with a lot of enemies, alliances, and a lot of respected acquaintances… and I do hope that you will at one point be a respected acquaintance.”
“We both have the same goal in mind, the same desires besides the World Championship… and that is to take PWX by the horns, and ride the bull over the limp bodies of The Establishment… because not only did they take a lot away from you, they are taking a lot of PWX in to the toilet with their tainted reign. We will get in that ring at Adrenaline Troy, and we will show them and the rest of the world why Roxxie Roberts and Troy Stone are a threat to their legacy.”
With a smile, and a slight queasy feeling, I leave my words hanging on the line to dry… and to await whether the same respect will be delivered back.
____________________________________________________________
December, 2008.
Looking beyond the door, a dim light lighting the hall towards the bathroom and the second bedroom where, Cameron, our son usually slept peacefully and I take in a deep breath. Releasing it slowly, regretfully… I turn myself in bed quietly and gently… turning my eyes on to the man in bed beside me. Cloaked in a ruffle of blankets, hair a bit longer than I was previously used to; ruffled in a mess.
I lift my hand slowly and brush the prickly stubble that is his face, a pained smile spreads my lips as I watch him sleep peacefully. His mouth open, slight slip of saliva hits the corner… one arm spread out beside him off the bed, and the other spread out bent above him. He laid with one leg propped up, sometimes bobbing back and forth a bit when he mumbled in his sleep, listening to the odd whimper. Despite looking goofy, I was completely swept away by his image, his intelligence, his personality, and of course favoritively his sense of humor.
“I love you Joey…. Always and a lifetime…” I speak softly above his ear, careful not to wake him. A small tear escapes and slides down my cheek and drops gently on to his face.
Grunting in his sleep, he turns his head towards me, and scratches his stomaching over his abdomen… he wrinkles his brow in annoyance. “Dude, NO….Let go of that! That’s my pizza!”
I tried not to giggle, the last time I would be happy…. And free. Leaning down softly, I brush my lips in a gentle kiss to his forehead, then on his lips, being careful again not to wake him. Freezing briefly, enough time for the full of water works to slip down my face and on his chest, soaking the blanketed mess covering his body.
I didn’t want to let go… I didn’t want to leave. My heart ached already, for what I had already lost with my decision… the decision that was forced upon me just a week ago. I needed to protect them, both of my boys… even if it meant scaring their hearts… and most of all mine. For the sake of love, I had to let him go… I had to walk away! Closing my eyes, I pull away from him and roll out of bed careful not to bounce the bed… I slip on my shoes I previously had tucked under the bed… Withdrew the bags from the closet… the suitcases I had previously packed.
Mine and our son’s clothes.
Reaching in to the front pocket of my purse, I pull out a piece of paper that I open to look at one last time, before I have to seal it and place it on the table beside Joey’s head.
Taking in a sharp breath of chest pain, I push myself off of my bed… pillows soaked with tears and hyperventilating to the sound of my phone’s ring.
“JOEY!” I scream in the mouth piece… unintended, but panicked……
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Nov 7, 2017 21:34:46 GMT -5
Nov 7, 2017 21:34:46 GMT -5
